I really enjoyed these series on public speaking. It is not presented by some overconfident guy talking about how great he is at public speaking. These people are often too busy showing how good they are that they don't emphasize the main points. This woman really goes to the point, and makes it clear.
Unfortunately I can not embed the videos
Body language
Eye contact
Voice volume
Breathing, smiling, and focusing
Rate of speech
Visualize success
P.S: If you know where these videos come from, please let me know. I don't belive they are originally made for expert village.
Type rest of the post here
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Showing posts with label body language. Show all posts
Showing posts with label body language. Show all posts
Monday, September 8, 2008
Saturday, September 6, 2008
The amazing greeting. It takes more than a smile.
During my job in Germany, there was a man that I liked from the first moment. I knew him because every day he would come to my department, greet me, and go further. I found him to be sincere and charismatic, and my impression was that he actually really liked me. After some time I started questioning why I felt this way towards him, because I realized we would never say more than a sentence to each other. Why did I like him over other people that even try to start a small conversation with me every time? I started analyzing his behavior and his interactions. Then I figured out the thing that enchanted me (and other people) each time: he was just great at greeting people!
Here is what a normal worker does when he comes into a department that is not his:
1-Put a fixed smile on his face. Normally tight lipped.
2-Look around, thinking about his stuff while he walks to each desk, gives a hand to the colleague and shortly stares into his eyes.
3-Say "HI" or "Good Morning" while his eyes are already distracted or seeking for the next colleague to greet.
Here is what the great greeter does:
1-He comes in, but he doesn't smile. He has no special expression on his face.
2- With conviction he walks to each desk, looking into the colleague's eyes, but still no facial expression. Then he will stretch his hand, and start a firm and intense handshake.
3- He will say "Good morning", and during this period his facial expression completely changes to overwhelm you with the warmest smile while he looks into your eyes and continues shaking your hand.
4 - He holds the stare and the smile for about 2 seconds before his smile disappears and he goes to the next colleague.
There is such a HUGE difference in the impression that both approaches cause. When he greets, he will present you with four intense and perfectly delivered stimulus: Direct look in the eyes, a spoken greet, a good handshake and warm smile. It makes you feel just what a young innocent girl must experience when a eloquent, well mannered guy tries to seduce her with for the first time.
I believe an important part of his approach is how he smiles. His smile is not fixed on his face, but it comes out for each person individually. This makes it feel personal, like it is just for you. And it comes out at the right moment, as a cherry, crowning the greeting.
When you greet the people around you, try to imitate my ex-colleague. Use your smile as a present! Don't show show it before time. Let people wait for it so they know it is sincere and only for them. Distinguish yourself from the rest, a greeting takes about 5 seconds; during that period dedicate yourself completely to the other person. You will enjoy the much more positive response you will get from other people and the great first impressions you will make!
Read More...
Here is what a normal worker does when he comes into a department that is not his:
1-Put a fixed smile on his face. Normally tight lipped.
2-Look around, thinking about his stuff while he walks to each desk, gives a hand to the colleague and shortly stares into his eyes.
3-Say "HI" or "Good Morning" while his eyes are already distracted or seeking for the next colleague to greet.
Here is what the great greeter does:
1-He comes in, but he doesn't smile. He has no special expression on his face.
2- With conviction he walks to each desk, looking into the colleague's eyes, but still no facial expression. Then he will stretch his hand, and start a firm and intense handshake.
3- He will say "Good morning", and during this period his facial expression completely changes to overwhelm you with the warmest smile while he looks into your eyes and continues shaking your hand.
4 - He holds the stare and the smile for about 2 seconds before his smile disappears and he goes to the next colleague.
There is such a HUGE difference in the impression that both approaches cause. When he greets, he will present you with four intense and perfectly delivered stimulus: Direct look in the eyes, a spoken greet, a good handshake and warm smile. It makes you feel just what a young innocent girl must experience when a eloquent, well mannered guy tries to seduce her with for the first time.
I believe an important part of his approach is how he smiles. His smile is not fixed on his face, but it comes out for each person individually. This makes it feel personal, like it is just for you. And it comes out at the right moment, as a cherry, crowning the greeting.
When you greet the people around you, try to imitate my ex-colleague. Use your smile as a present! Don't show show it before time. Let people wait for it so they know it is sincere and only for them. Distinguish yourself from the rest, a greeting takes about 5 seconds; during that period dedicate yourself completely to the other person. You will enjoy the much more positive response you will get from other people and the great first impressions you will make!
Read More...
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Tom Cruise IS great
Imagine not having seen this video before. Forget about how much you laughed when you saw it for the first time. Turn the volume off and watch it one or two minutes. You would think: "I wonder what he is talking about", "He surely knows what he is saying." "I never knew Tom Cruise was such a deep person!"...
In fact, that is the funny thing about the video. He talks complete bullshit, but he makes such an excellent delivery that it causes a contradiction in your brain. Such a contradiction often causes a humorous response (laugher).
We may laugh at Tommy, but he can laugh at us too, because he actually manages to fool us into thinking that he is saying something much longer than anyone else could have.
Tom Cruise is great, just not at thinking. Read More...
In fact, that is the funny thing about the video. He talks complete bullshit, but he makes such an excellent delivery that it causes a contradiction in your brain. Such a contradiction often causes a humorous response (laugher).
We may laugh at Tommy, but he can laugh at us too, because he actually manages to fool us into thinking that he is saying something much longer than anyone else could have.
Tom Cruise is great, just not at thinking. Read More...
How to win an argument to smart people
Did it ever annoy you that even though your arguments were clearly better, the people watching seemed to support the other guy? Well, to me...oh so often!
Lets take a look at this example:
Person A: The moon landing was a hoax.
Person B: I'm quite sure it is real. There are videos that prove it is real.
Person A: The moon landing was a hoax.
Person B: But the government could never cover something that big.
Person A: The moon landing was a hoax.
Person B: ...uh...but really, all those pictures they claimed to be false, the NASA proved them to be real.
Person A: The moon landing was a hoax.
Person B: But!...uhhh...
Obviously, Person A is not providing any arguments, it is Person B who brings up evidence to back up his claim. But a third person, will see Person A being assertive, fast reacting, confident about himself and relaxed. He gives the impression that his point is so self evident that it is not even necessary to support it. Person B, although well intentioned, argues from a defensive position, lowering his social value. He may even start stuttering as his new arguments don't flow smoothly. Or from the frustration he may start to talk faster, move his hands around. All of these give a poor impression to the people watching.
If afterwards you ask the third person, we will very likely say something like: Well, I don't know it, but it might very likely have been a hoax. So why does Person A win even though he did not prove his point? Because the argument was not really about if the moon was a hoax! A third person will be submitted to all kind of other information, not related to that topic. The speaking rhythm, the tone of the voice, the way they stand, their facial expression, how they move their hands, and so many other things. It is estimated that only 30% of the attention in the communication goes to listening what the others say, the rest goes to non-verbal communication.
If you repeat the message many times, it is more likely to catch on. Just repeat repeat and repeat your point. You will lose some points because you don't bring up any proofs, but by doing such an easy job your body language and your speaking will be much better, outweighing the lack of reasoning.
This style will work specially well against well intentioned and intelligent people and a public without that doesn't have strong opinion on the subject.
Of course, you shouldn't make it to obvious nor use it in front of the same people to often so they don't notice the pattern. The technique can be improved by slightly ridiculing you opponents position and other tricks. But lets leave that for some other day.
Give it a try. Focus less on the arguments, emphasize your position, enjoy. Read More...
Lets take a look at this example:
Person A: The moon landing was a hoax.
Person B: I'm quite sure it is real. There are videos that prove it is real.
Person A: The moon landing was a hoax.
Person B: But the government could never cover something that big.
Person A: The moon landing was a hoax.
Person B: ...uh...but really, all those pictures they claimed to be false, the NASA proved them to be real.
Person A: The moon landing was a hoax.
Person B: But!...uhhh...
Obviously, Person A is not providing any arguments, it is Person B who brings up evidence to back up his claim. But a third person, will see Person A being assertive, fast reacting, confident about himself and relaxed. He gives the impression that his point is so self evident that it is not even necessary to support it. Person B, although well intentioned, argues from a defensive position, lowering his social value. He may even start stuttering as his new arguments don't flow smoothly. Or from the frustration he may start to talk faster, move his hands around. All of these give a poor impression to the people watching.
If afterwards you ask the third person, we will very likely say something like: Well, I don't know it, but it might very likely have been a hoax. So why does Person A win even though he did not prove his point? Because the argument was not really about if the moon was a hoax! A third person will be submitted to all kind of other information, not related to that topic. The speaking rhythm, the tone of the voice, the way they stand, their facial expression, how they move their hands, and so many other things. It is estimated that only 30% of the attention in the communication goes to listening what the others say, the rest goes to non-verbal communication.
If you repeat the message many times, it is more likely to catch on. Just repeat repeat and repeat your point. You will lose some points because you don't bring up any proofs, but by doing such an easy job your body language and your speaking will be much better, outweighing the lack of reasoning.
This style will work specially well against well intentioned and intelligent people and a public without that doesn't have strong opinion on the subject.
Of course, you shouldn't make it to obvious nor use it in front of the same people to often so they don't notice the pattern. The technique can be improved by slightly ridiculing you opponents position and other tricks. But lets leave that for some other day.
Give it a try. Focus less on the arguments, emphasize your position, enjoy. Read More...
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Get over shyness: Eyes.
How many opportunities have you lost in life because of shyness? Uncountable. We all know that not being shy is the number one requirement to have success in life. So lets get over it.
Being shy has a double negative effect. First, since you are shy, you will not expose yourself to all the possibilities you have. Second, others will see you are shy and will not be interested in hanging out or cooperating with you. Lets not even speak about leadership!
The eyes are one of the principal factors that expose shy people are they eyes. They are scared to look into other people's eyes, and if they do, they quickly look down.
The following exercise proved to be very useful for myself. I practice it everyday, all the time, because it costs no effort, is fun, and rewarding!
The exercise will help you lose your fear for strangers. When your eyes cross with somebody else's, keep staring at them. Not in an aggressive way, just plain relaxed. Keep looking into their eyes until they surrender and look somewhere else. You have to see it as a battle. Do it on the street, in the line for the theatre, in the subway...everywhere. Do it with old ladies, guys, girls, kids...just about everyone.
You will notice that the hardest to beat are the kids, specially babies! Why? Because they don't know about shyness. You will find it terribly uncomfortable to look more than a couple of seconds into kid's eyes. Think about it, you feel uncomfortable looking into the eyes of a kid! It's not some kind of monster that is going to eat you. Once you experience it, you will realize how incredibly stupid your shyness is, and it will reinforce your will to get over it.
One final tip, since you will lose battles at first. Lose them with honor. When looking away, you will feel a natural tendency to quickly look downwards. This is a sign of submission. Try to slowly move the focus point in a upward or lateral direction. This gives a message of indifference.
This exercise will help you not to only look more confident, but also to be more confident. You will see that there is nothing in other people to be afraid of. Most people look away in about 1 second, some people last 2 seconds. They most I have seen is people that watch 5 seconds. These are hard to beat.
Try it, it feels good! Have fun! Read More...
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