Sunday, August 24, 2008

    Get over shyness: Eyes.

    How many opportunities have you lost in life because of shyness? Uncountable. We all know that not being shy is the number one requirement to have success in life. So lets get over it.

    Being shy has a double negative effect. First, since you are shy, you will not expose yourself to all the possibilities you have. Second, others will see you are shy and will not be interested in hanging out or cooperating with you. Lets not even speak about leadership!

    The eyes are one of the principal factors that expose shy people are they eyes. They are scared to look into other people's eyes, and if they do, they quickly look down.

    The following exercise proved to be very useful for myself. I practice it everyday, all the time, because it costs no effort, is fun, and rewarding!

    The exercise will help you lose your fear for strangers. When your eyes cross with somebody else's, keep staring at them. Not in an aggressive way, just plain relaxed. Keep looking into their eyes until they surrender and look somewhere else. You have to see it as a battle. Do it on the street, in the line for the theatre, in the subway...everywhere. Do it with old ladies, guys, girls, kids...just about everyone.

    You will notice that the hardest to beat are the kids, specially babies! Why? Because they don't know about shyness. You will find it terribly uncomfortable to look more than a couple of seconds into kid's eyes. Think about it, you feel uncomfortable looking into the eyes of a kid! It's not some kind of monster that is going to eat you. Once you experience it, you will realize how incredibly stupid your shyness is, and it will reinforce your will to get over it.

    One final tip, since you will lose battles at first. Lose them with honor. When looking away, you will feel a natural tendency to quickly look downwards. This is a sign of submission. Try to slowly move the focus point in a upward or lateral direction. This gives a message of indifference.

    This exercise will help you not to only look more confident, but also to be more confident. You will see that there is nothing in other people to be afraid of. Most people look away in about 1 second, some people last 2 seconds. They most I have seen is people that watch 5 seconds. These are hard to beat.

    Try it, it feels good! Have fun!

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